Solitary Confinement.

It is 5:00am, and I am trying to sleep. I have work in 7 hours. It's Summerlicious,and I am about to work my first service for the event. But I cannot sleep. I have all sorts of thoughts flowing through my mind....

A year ago, I was fresh out of high school, enjoying the summer by sleeping in and having bonfires in Phillip's backyard, only occupied by the dreams I had of liking a girl I hardly even knew and the excitement of starting college. A year ago, I was different. A year ago, I thought I was mature, that I knew what love was, that I was already a good cook. I thought I had myself all figured out. I thought I had life all figured out. I thought I was going to go to college, and show off my culinary skills and be better than everyone. I thought I was already a somebody because I had some experience in the industry and most people out of high school didn't. A year ago, I worried, but didn't really have anything to worry about. A year ago, I would have never imagined myself today.

One year later, I have two semesters of culinary school under my belt. I now live right in the heart of downtown Toronto. I work in a historical district, in one of the more busy and well respected restaurants in the city. School was much more difficult than I imagined. I did turn out to be one of the better cooks in my class, but that is just one class among many. I have learned that most people in college aren't straight out of high school. Alot of them already have work experience. Alot of them already have been in the industry for a long time. One year later, and I have grown. I know more than I ever have, and my naivety has changed.  I have met all sorts of people. One year later, and I already have both foot in the food industry. I have already started my career; the occupation that I will do for the rest of my working life. And I love it. I have recently been promoted to line cook, and I am proud of that achievement.

But in just one year later, I am isolated. With the exception of Jordan, the last time I was any of my friends was 3 months ago. I only see my family once every couple of weeks or months. I work all day, and when I am not working, I am in my apartment doing something on the computer or sleeping. When I wake up, it's work all over again. I drink two packs of Redbull a week. My roommate is never here. For whatever reasons, I do not know, but he's always back in the suburbs. I do not have a love life. I do not have a social life. Only an occupation. I thought I would meet that one special girl in school or in the city, and it would be like love at first sight. But I now realize I would actually have to put myself out there in order to meet somebody special. I am living in the solitary confinement of my own life. My decisions and my interests have put me here. I realize that as I grow successful in my career, I will eventually lose most of my friends and whatever social life I have. It is not like this for other cooks, because other cooks aren't like me. However as I come to my realizations, I have decided that I might be content with the path I am on; that I could be happy with my prison....and that scares me.

Sitting on the Throne

You know what the most peaceful and quiet time of your day is? I’m a busy guy, and I figure most of you are too. Life is always kind of a breeze, just blowing and blowing, never quite taking a break. Until you have to stop and release bodily waste. To me, that’s the most peaceful and quiet time of the day. When you can finally pull down your pants, or undress completely if you must, and just sit on your throne. When I say quiet, I am referring to the quiet in your thoughts, because let’s face it, not everybody is quiet when they’re going to work. Some people don’t appreciate that bit of me time. Some people go to the washroom, and are out within 4 minutes. Like, how did you even have time to do your business, then wipe and wash your hands thoroughly?

Some people like to think in the shower, I think on the toilet. Technically, that’s a hipster mentality. It’s quite a great place to think. And a great invention as well. I give props to whoever invented the 8^th wonder known as the toilet. Some people complain about not having enough time to themselves. Well there’s your time. Learn to take advantage of it. You can even get a lot of reading and studying done in the washroom. I mean, there’s nothing else to distract you. Just don’t bring your phone in as well, and before you know it, you just finished reviewing a quarter of your psychology exam.  So next time you try to rush your shit, take advantage of your shit, because that shit should be relaxing. As the waste goes, so does your problems.

What to blog?

So the interface of this website looks like a food blog right now. But I don't really want to blog only about food, or plainly about my everyday life. I'm thinking I'll write about random thoughts and issues. The problem is, whether I'll be able to update on a regular basis and whether anybody will pay attention to this little blog, because to be honest, I'm not the type of person who writes just to write. I'm a cook, not a journalist. Haha 

my blogging dilemma

I want to start blogging again. I really do. Except I'm probably not. And then in a couple of months I'll tell myself that I want to start blogging again, and I'll write a post about wanting to do it. Then before you know it, this blog will be a blog about wanting to write a blog.